Due to incredible demand, all Pre-orders on the Alternative OTT have been suspended. In just a matter of hours, demand has outstripped the supply by over 6000%. My apologies to those who may have been on the fence about ordering such a fine jig and have missed out. The marketing manager (Steve) has been demoted (I could not fire him 11 days before Christmas) and replaced with a different Steve.
I have been in meetings all day with the production manager (Steve) and the procurement manager (Steve) who has advised me that there is a shortage of low cost high quality MDF as a result may not be able to fulfill all orders in a timely fashion. They both blame the marketing manager for grossly underestimating the demand and overpromising delivery. Knowledge of the pending MDF demand has apparently leaked out and has affected the supply stream. Our company has apparently been hacked and information leaked to Wikileaks so we have resorted to use tin foil hats and mental telepathy to communicate in lieu of the normal talking amongst ourselves until our Faraday cage can be constructed.
The head of our legal department is also investigating reports of dealers who are selling these on Amazon and eBay for more than the advertised special introductory pricing.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
1) Will a systainer be available? YES, a systainer will be available with a custom hand carved Kaizen foam insert for a small phenomonal fee.
2) If I order now, will I get it in June? NO, per the announcement above, you can't order now. If you already have placed your order, we were going to deliver immediately but if you wish, we can delay shipment until June.
3) Since the new Festool routers have stick on Imperial scales, can you provide an Imperial scale on the jig? YES, a high quality stick on Imperial measurement can be provided at NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE upon request. There is no charge since our R&D department has tested this and it wears off after the first use.
4) Can I use a Metric scale router with the metric jig? YES but, you will not achieve the desired level of confusion with intermixing different measurement systems.
5) Can I use Imperial size bits with the metric jig? YES, our R&D department has determined that both metric and imperial bit sizes will work with this jig.
6) Can you provide a custom size radius? YES, but that would be a different OTT.
7) Will you make this jig again? NO - that is why we called it a One Time Tool and not a Two Time Tool.
8. Will there be an April 1st price increase? NO, we feel our clients would view that as a joke.
Hey- you can't just make this stuff up, or maybe you can. Any similarities of this offering to actual events that may have occurred on this Forum recently is purely coincidental.