When I was a mason contractor, one of my builders was, what i called, a one way practical joker.

One of his favorites with me was when i was laying brick, or block, usually on a fireplace where i needed to be particularly fussy.

As my mud pan had just been filled and i was ready to get going, he would come along with a handful of tar paper (big headed) nails and drop a large handfull into the batch.  it usually meant i had to dump half.  that is, if I was lucky.  sometimes, i had to dump the whole pan.  I let him know in uncertain terms I did not care too much for his sense of humor as he would laugh histerically.

One day as he played his little game, i started to laugh along with him.  At that he seemed to get a little nervous.  He was heade for the roof to get back to his shingling.  a little later, he came back down to fill his nail bag.  I thought it was quite mirthful when he went to reach into the barrel of nails and found a conglomerate mass of nails and slightly hardened mortar.  I think he turned purple with rage.  And my helper and I just laughed.

Anyhow, he never put nails in my mortar again.

I have played practical jokes that were actually very harmless.  i think i have told of one or two here.  I will check later.
Tinker

Nice ones! When I was a framer I used to sit and read a magazine at break time. My boss thought it was funny to nail my magazine to a board and stick it up in the air 20 feet or so. One day he came back from lunch and found his nail babs right next to my magazine with a 16p nail through every hole in the belt and bent over on the other side of the 2x4. We had a better understanding of each other from that point on.

I worked the High Rise gig for a long time in my youth.

As soon as I figure out how to explain the down right evil stuff that went on

in a literary fashion I am writing a book. I am going to skip these because they are

more like prosecutable offenses then practical jokes.

but Tinker you do bring back memory's.

So, I am layin block on the line, picture 10 block layers in a row 8 foot between them,

where there is your blocks and pan. Laborer walks behind and keeps every body fed.

The Mason to my left is from the old country, is a company man and out of a different hall.

He just plain old decides he don't like me one bit. Nope not at all.

No redeeming qualities did he see in me what so ever.

Besides I was young and fun. 3 days and 40 foot vertical I had enough.

Break time I pulled a coupla buds outa the cooler and took the laborer aside.

I said Frankie I want you to help me out here. When we get back up there and your fillin my pan,

I need you to ask me real loud, how long I have been out of prison.

And I need my partner up there sucked right into the conversation.

Then I gave him his key line, we rehearsed a few times for which way the the little chat could possibly go.

Back to work we went.

The conversation went like this.

Laborer.."so Per, How long you been out of prison?"
Me....       "6 months now Frankie"

Laborer... Man, that was no time at all. What did they actually give ya?
Me...3 to 5, but it only came to 18 months with time served and good behavior.

Laborer.... Good to have ya back man! Bum rap anyway.

My pain in the neck block partner wide eyed took the bait , the hook, sinker ...all of it.

He says to Frankie as human nature dictates he would.....

   "what the heck was he in for?"

Frankie and the punch line.... Attempted murder, 2 years ago he had a pain in the neck block partner, threw him 40 feet off the scaffold.

You don't know Per?

From that day onward for two months I never ran out of beer, coffee, a pleasant hello, a helping hand

and a partner who instantly learned how to work together.

 
Kid you not.

Per

This one was more like a practical joke a man (mistookenly) pulled on himself.  it could have had far more serious consequences, even tho it gave a bunch of kids a great laugh.

Abie was the local cattle dealer.  He collected good cows that were no longer earning their keep.  Gooder cows that he knew he could make a good dollar with.  real old cows ready for the sausage factory, and so on.  even tho he was looked on as being quite sharp and often referred to as still pinching his first penny, he was not a bad sort of guy.  He did have many stories (and what fellow in his business did not?) of which the following tale became a part of his ever expanding repertoir (sp???)

It was sometime in the early 1940's and artificial insemination had just become a ver valuable asset to the small farmers such as my uncle.  We had always had a questionably good bull to keep our twenty something cow herd of milkers happy.  That small a herd could not produce enough milk to justify the acquasition of a superstar bull.  Sort of a "catch 22" situation.

Anyhow, it did not take long for Uncle to learn the value of sitting down to the kitchen table with a catalogue of great bulls to pick from each time one of his "ladies" became needfull of a good male to put the smile back on her face.  With a short phone call, the deed was arranged and Charlie would very soon appear on the scene with his little black bag (actually a rather heavy thermally cooled container), sterile tube and shoulder length rubber gloves.  He was aimed at the expectant young lady and thereupon performed with utmost precission what he had spent years in universtity to learn.  , for all of his short comings, the 5&10 cent bull never needd an instant of edycatin.

The service worked so well that we decided we no longer required the services of "Old Long Tool" bull and we called old friend, Abie to come take him away.

Upon arrival, Abie backed his high sided truck up to the barn door and dropped the loading ramp to the ground.  he went inside to be introduced to his latest charge who happened to be stanchioned in the last section at the very farthest corner of the barn.  All of the cows, his girlfriends, naturally, were at that hour out in pasture happilly munching away at the finest clover money could grow.

Abie opened the stanchion and encouraged Mr. Bull to back out.  M. Bull would not.  He flat out refused to move.  Abie pushed.  Mr. Bull stood his ground.  Abie tried everything he could think of, but Bull was quite content right where he was standing.  finally. Abie punched him on the nose.  that did attract some attention, but nothing to excite.  Abie finally resorted to kicking the bull on the nose.  after several unfriendly and forceful kicks, the bull decided that time could be wasated in backing out of the stantion.  His problem was right there in front of him.  he tried to charge forward.  Years later, as that old barn sank slowly into the ground for lack of the company of a twenty cow herd and the accomanying activities of so many years past, that end stantion still hung from its very bent iron frame.

After several lunges, the bull decided to finally back out to where he could get a real shot at his tormentor.  as he backed out, Abie took position several feet away on the barn floor.  as the bull turned towards him for a serious charge, Abie ran for his truck and up the ramp.  that angry bull was no more than 8 or 10 feet behind and in full speed charge.  abie disappeared inside the very high sided truck.  As the bull went out of sight within the same box, we suddenly saw Abie clearing the front of the box by a good two or three feet.  he landed on the cap of his truck as my uncle quickly closed up the back of the box.

Abie, as it turned out, was very much ok except for a badly shaken nervous system.  No bruises or broken bones.  The method for trapping a bull within that high sided box truck was well proven to be sfe.  As a bull chased his tormentor into the box, said tormentor would dive out thru the small trap door at the lower front corner of the box and thus make his escape.  the BIG problem this time was: Abie had forgotten to leave that little door open.  As he had realized his mistook, he some how worked up enough energy to somehow scramble up the front (8 foot high all around) side and over the top before the bull could make up the few feet he had been lacking in persuit.  Nobody ever knew how Abie had been able to make that scramble, or jump.  I don't think he knew himself.  If he had jumped, he should have been in the olympics as I thing the record high jump of the day was somewhere around 6-6.

Not really a practical joke story, but it did serve good entertainment for around the table for many years to come.  it is still a family tale, even tho most who partook and/or witnessed are no longer around.  physically, that is.  In spirit.  definitely a YES.
Tinker

Since this happened a couple of decades ago, I hope the statute of limitations has run out.

I was a young gun, fairly new to restaurant work and I had never been in the business end of any food preparation areas .

We were replacing casework in a well known upper end bakery.  While my comrades and I were taking a coffee break, we watched a poor mouse stuck to a sticky trap slowly crawl for freedom, only to give out after great effort.  My cohort decided that the mouse deserved a proper send - off and replaced the groom on a wedding cake on display in the main front window with our new, hapless friend.  The bride didn't seem to mind. 

I was convinced that we were all to be fired at any moment, with many a nervous moment for yours truly... FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS!!!   My diminutive friend may still be dancing with that beautiful bride.

LMAO Can of steam. If he'd have come back you could have said "Oh I'm sorry, I ment cold steam, it's in the freezer" You gotta love the gullable. As far as the mouse goes, that was shear courage to pull that one off. Bravo.

It is always nice to replace the Turkey in your friends sandwich with maple veneer,makes it a little crisper. As long is it not curly. Chad

Brings new meaning to the term "Tough Turkey"

Since I have had my woodshop, i have worked pretty much alone.  No chance for practical jokes on myself.  however, I do have one story of a practical joke that went all wrong.  I happened to have been at the very wrong end of this one.

It was in ninth grade and the school had a woodshop class.  a lot of kids got into such classes for easy grades and could care less about learning anything.  i was more serious and tried to learn all I coulld, and helped out wherever somebody needed a hand.  i took the classes very seriously.

My shop teacher had made a wooden salad bowl during one of his night class demonstrations and asked if, since my project for the week had been completed, I would sand down the bowl in preparation for a finish.  As I was sanding, one of the idiot kids came by and jacked up the lathe speed to its top notch.  As the bowl reached top speed, i yelled at the kid to quit fooling around, wherupon He jacked the speed back down to slowest speed.  the sudden changes in rotation speed were just too much for the thin wooden bowl.  One pice flew across the room and thru the glass window of the entrance door.  A second piece went into the ceiling.  the third managed to locate my face and the bounced back thru the window at the back side of the lathe.  I was somewhat of a bloody mess, but was quite the main attraction of the day as they carried me out to the ambulance right as school was let out for the day. 

I ended up with something like 200 of the removable stitches on the outside of my face, lips and nose.  The doctor told me I had even more of the disolvable type inside my nose and mouth.

Practical jokes don't always follow the expected patterns hoped for, but I, atleast that time, survived.  Of course, I do have some funny tales to tell about my stay in the hospital, but will save those for another OFF TOPIC session later.
Tinker 

When I was a Framer, I  had a boss that was a meth head. No one liked him. He was a real . He always went into the pooper at the same time each day to do his "thing". One of the guys he pissed off found this to be the apropriate time to drop a seal bomb (1/4 stick) into the vent tube of the out house while he was in  there. When he flew out covered in poop up his back, between his legs and up to his chin I thought he was going to kill everyone. I was about 50 feet from the occurance and I thought a bomb went off. I guess it did, a sh*^ bomb. That was one rotten prank but he had it coming.

Also,putting a fish on top of the muffler is always fun!

That's a great one. I got a wonderful chuckle outta that one. I too started driving on a John Deer at around 7 but never did the grease trick.

Thanks Tinker,

Great story. I hold a special fondness for the beasts.

Here is a picture of my brother Chris on the Farmall C.

This picture was taken on our Hippy Commune farm in 1974.

And you thought I just played a redneck on the internets.






Per

Thanks Eli,

You guys keep setting me up...so

This picture was taken on the Hippy Commune Farm,

just prior to my arrival on this planet. Bob took this shot around 1957.

The young hand on the reins name is lost to history, at least ours.

Any way its a great dang picture of a way of life pre tractor.

Enjoy.

giving the new guy a styrofoam cup to go get lacquer thinner...

I had a little extra time and reviewed this conversation.

Bill Wyko reminded me of one i had forgotten.

I was still in the mason biz and my major contractor was a big man, almost as big around as he was tall.
He could be rather boisterous in a not too pleasing way and he and i would get into many arguements.
We found the best way to get along was when and arguement got to a point where one of us started yelling,
The other just walked away.  We soon cooled down and soon got back to a more sane conversation, or just went back to work.

One day, after he and i had had one of our little tiffs, and i had gotten back to work setting stone in a stone wall.
My nephew was operating the backhoe to place the stones and i would jimmy into place with a short bar.
Right next to where we were working was the porto potty.  The rock pile was just behind the potty and my nephew was set up so he was chaining rocks and swinging them directly over to porto potty and onto the wall.
The contractor had a rush call and went into the Porto potty.  While he was in there, my nephew got a piece of rope and very quietly tied it to the two handles on each side of the structure, got back onto the backhoe and gave the contractor a rather wild and shaky ride. 
Luckily, he had a sense of humor, as i continued doing all of his masonry for many more years until i had to retire.  His project was ready to go when I told him i could no longer do such heavy lifting. I had decided to get into landscaping to give my back a rest.  He gave me his landscaping work for another few years until he moved out of town.

Tinker