dirtydeeds
Member
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2007
- Messages
- 1,009
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .Mike, Dave and John are called Fat Boy, Face ache and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
The boys each throw in ?20, even though it's only for ?32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay ?2 for a ?1 item he needs.
A woman will pay ?1 for a ?2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom, in the typical woman's bathroom has 337, and the men can only identify 20
ARGUMENTS
Anything a man says is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but kick then when women aren't looking
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children, dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .Mike, Dave and John are called Fat Boy, Face ache and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
The boys each throw in ?20, even though it's only for ?32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay ?2 for a ?1 item he needs.
A woman will pay ?1 for a ?2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom, in the typical woman's bathroom has 337, and the men can only identify 20
ARGUMENTS
Anything a man says is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but kick then when women aren't looking
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children, dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Fred
