Festools are kind of like the elephant and 10 men story. (10 blindfolded men stand around the elephant touching it. Each feels something different.) It's multiple things to multiple people. I think this is why you get so many differing opinions. But...
Your point is on a differing plane - not what they are, but how you use them. I think it's right on. For many people, especially those steeped in traditional woodworking knowledge, it's difficult to "see" how Festools can work. Their approach to a problem is from a traditionalist's viewpoint. They either can't or don't want to change their approach. For example...
I've heard or read this question a thousand times, "What's the best way to cut a sheet goods on my tablesaw?" The problem is their starting point - the assumption that one MUST cut sheet goods on the tablesaw. Never mind that you have to have a BIG tablesaw, that you are lifting a big, heavy piece of wood about waist high, or that it's difficult to control the bugger.
Festoolians think outside the box, so to speak. Our approach might be, "Hmmm... All I have to do is throw down a couple pieces of pink foam insullation on the floor or a low table, flop the sheet goods on top, toss on a rail, and cut the beastie." The result? Less backaches, straight cuts, and you just store your "tablesaw" against the wall when done. It's a different approach to the problem.
To be sure, there are things where the traditional approach is faster and/or better. For example, when cutting a single 2X4, many times I'll just grab my handsaw and get it done. (Of course my "handsaw" is a ryoba pull saw. ;D ) The key is knowing which approach is better for your specific needs at the time.
IMO, the "zen" is a Festoolians nature to explore different approaches to problems and not be bound by tradition. Festool tools support this. Many other tools do not.
Regards,
Dan.