I would not use a sander for planing down concrete. You can ruin the sander and not do much damage to the concrete. You can rent tools for the purpose.
I have been out of the business for over 25 years, so there may be new tools and, certainly, new products on the market since i "retired" from the trade. I have ground down several floors using a rented Terrazzo machine. They are heavy enoogh to make the impression needed to grind down the concrete. (ask a tile contractor about a source)
From what you are describing, I don't think your efforts will provide the results you are looking for. If the concrete is cracking, you are haveing problems from frost heaving. no amount of refinishing will stop that action.
If it is spalting (scaling) that is the problem, you may be correct in your accessment of freeze thaw cycling. However, had the mix and slump been correct, and the finishing at time of pour been properly done, you would not now have the problem. I suspect that salt may also be the culpret. you may not be putting any salt on your own driveway, but you are tracking enough in from the highway to give you problems. No amount of refinishing is going to give protection against future spalting. The salt has worked in too deep already. Poor mix with too much water can not be fixed with an overlay either.
Without further knowledge of what is actually happening, I would guess the solution to be what you are trying to avoid>>> The expense of tearing the apron out and redoing. Get a reputable mason who understands the correct mix and correct amount of water (slump) and will do the work according to code. Otherwise, you have an ongoing problem that will either give you fits, or you will learn to ignore.
Sorry for the prediction, but I've been there seen that done that enough times to have an idea of what I am taking about.
Tinker