Wackiest, most ‘out-there’ build in woodworking history ??

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After over three decades on the tools, I thought I’d been asked to build everything. But then - this commission came along, from a lady who’d spent many years trying to find someone who would build this thing for her. Something so left-field, so weird, and so unusual, I know that nothing I’ll make again will ever top this.

Because there’s a lot to digest and so much intricacy involved in the build, I’m going to split this over several posts - I think that doing it all in one go would crash the server - plus I’m still putting the finishing touches to it.

So you know how every project starts with a materials list, right? So just to set the stage, setting aside the actual timber - here’s a partial list of just some of the other stuff I had to gather up for this;

* A life-size anatomy model of a human spine and pelvis
* An old clock mechanism
* A plaster cast of a girl’s face
* Threaded steel rod
* An old vacuum cleaner tube
* A bunch of brass photo-etchings and white metal castings from model railroad kits
* A set of fake dreadlocks
* Two empty paint aerosol cans
* Medical syringes
* Modelling clay and 2-pack fibreglass resin
* Rapid-set gypsum plaster
* Various sizes of polyethylene plumbing waste pipe
* An airbrush compressor

Yeah ……..  [eek]

You’ve been warned, guys. I’ll try and get the first build post up tomorrow.
 
From the materials list, fail to see the "woodworking" aspect...

Eagerly anticipating how this develops.  [popcorn]

RMW
 
Richard/RMW said:
From the materials list, fail to see the "woodworking" aspect...

Eagerly anticipating how this develops.  [popcorn]

RMW

It’s woodworking, Jim. But not as we know it …

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Me and a workmate put a drawbridge into a massive boathouse, but the metal framework had to be put onto a pontoon then paddled on the lake to get it close to where we were fitting it, then winched to were we fitted it a d then the timber put over it.

Somehow felt kind of ancient Egyptian on the lake paddling a pontoon about with a classing board that day.
 
Peter Kelly said:
Does actually sound pretty typical for theatrical scenic fabrication.

It’s not. But I did once build a complete stage set for a heavy metal band featuring Andy Sneap, current guitar player with Judas Priest;
 
Yeah, I know what you mean. Even in a commercial shop situation I have built some crazy looking and seemingly impractical stuff.
There are others, but this one is probably the worst. I don't show the pics often, because they are terrible. I don't know what was up with my phone at that time, but the pics are just bad.
This is supposed to be a reception desk, but it turns out to be the most ridiculous explosion of an architect's imagination.
While I was building it, I was calling it the worst desk ever. From the outside, it is very unique looking and it was quite a challenge to build. All of those points that meet in the middle are not only sharp, but from different plains. The impractical part is on the in on the inside. There are virtually no horizontal surfaces in there either. The outside is one thing, "artsy/whatever" but inside you need flat surfaces. There just aren't any. The whole thing is something like 17-18 feet long overall. The usable space is very near the end that attaches to the wall. A person can sit at that end, have their computer there and that's about it, maybe a business card dispenser/display (very small). The rest of it is on a tilt. The countertop line "appears" to continue, but it really doesn't. It is there, but only a few inches wide, totally useless. Everything tapers away.
When it was installed, it only took a day for someone to ask about solutions. It was attempted, once. An addition was added to the countertop on that closed end. It gave more space, but wasn't really useful, too far to reach. Then they asked about another solution, but no one could decide on a plan that was cost-effective enough. It finally came down to tear it out and start over, but they wouldn't go for that. They had too much time/money in it at that point. so some receptionist gets to sit at the worst desk ever, for who knows how long.
Sorry about the hi-jack woodbutcherbower, you just reminded me of it with this post. I hope your client isn't doing the same thing? Building to a strange idea may not be what they think it is.
It goes with the old adage "Don't keep working on a mistake, just because you have spent a long time making it"
 

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