Per Swenson
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TahoeTwoBears
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Always wanted to put some of those in my office. Never had the nerve..........
Mike
Mike
Per Swenson
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I was in the headquarters of a huge supermarket chain (Located in Montvale NJ).
Dressed in the regalia of the construction serfdom. I was playing side kick to a
Flooring/carpet installer, who knew somebody, well, we had every right to be there.
At the very moment I was starting my diatribe about the poster behind the receptionists desk.
Lets step back a second, it was the one with the rock climber holding on to some Utah butte with one hand.
Some sorta inane caption about reaching great heights, and I was on a roll.
The flooring guy was crackin up, the receptionist had tears in her eyes, you have to understand
its hard for me to stop when I get into the spirit of the moment. The complete absurdity of it.
No, I am not one to stick to the conventions of my supposed place.
Anyway this middle management fella, I swear he was just promoted to corporate from the produce aisle,
comes around the corner, judges our appearance, and makes the grave mistake in thinking we are employees from
the basement or worse the ground crew. I didn't miss a beat.
Nope, I let him keep right on being confused about just who we were.
This guy is running a harangue, tellin the receptionist to call our supervisor, yappin about being on report,
she is speechless, its outa hand and I can't stop laughing.
We were saved in the nick of time from termination by the vice president in charge of operations.
The flooring installers uncle. We were there to pick up a check for materials for his house.
I turned to former cleanup in aisle 6 guy, point to the poster and said.
That a picture of you? A second before you let go?
It all worked out well though, profuse apologies, nice lunch and maybe a lifelong lesson in humility.
Not to mention a fat check and the next two houses next to his uncles.
Per
Dressed in the regalia of the construction serfdom. I was playing side kick to a
Flooring/carpet installer, who knew somebody, well, we had every right to be there.
At the very moment I was starting my diatribe about the poster behind the receptionists desk.
Lets step back a second, it was the one with the rock climber holding on to some Utah butte with one hand.
Some sorta inane caption about reaching great heights, and I was on a roll.
The flooring guy was crackin up, the receptionist had tears in her eyes, you have to understand
its hard for me to stop when I get into the spirit of the moment. The complete absurdity of it.
No, I am not one to stick to the conventions of my supposed place.
Anyway this middle management fella, I swear he was just promoted to corporate from the produce aisle,
comes around the corner, judges our appearance, and makes the grave mistake in thinking we are employees from
the basement or worse the ground crew. I didn't miss a beat.
Nope, I let him keep right on being confused about just who we were.
This guy is running a harangue, tellin the receptionist to call our supervisor, yappin about being on report,
she is speechless, its outa hand and I can't stop laughing.
We were saved in the nick of time from termination by the vice president in charge of operations.
The flooring installers uncle. We were there to pick up a check for materials for his house.
I turned to former cleanup in aisle 6 guy, point to the poster and said.
That a picture of you? A second before you let go?
It all worked out well though, profuse apologies, nice lunch and maybe a lifelong lesson in humility.
Not to mention a fat check and the next two houses next to his uncles.
Per
Per Swenson
Member
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 875
Which brings to mind the story of the wife of the owner of a large NJ chain Bank.
She was in charge of all designing and decorating.
Pretty sure every Mens room in all the Banks had the same print
of a golden Labrador siting on a bed gazing longingly out the window of a New England bed and breakfast.
Yes I did.
I tried to reason with her that if she wanted to put pictures of animals in the mens room of her banks
she might want to consider race horses.... for a whole slew of appropriate reasons.
She at least had a sense of humor.
Per
She was in charge of all designing and decorating.
Pretty sure every Mens room in all the Banks had the same print
of a golden Labrador siting on a bed gazing longingly out the window of a New England bed and breakfast.
Yes I did.
I tried to reason with her that if she wanted to put pictures of animals in the mens room of her banks
she might want to consider race horses.... for a whole slew of appropriate reasons.
She at least had a sense of humor.
Per
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 759
Per Swenson said:
That's the difference between you and me, I kiss but don't hold, is A&P still there?
Per Swenson
Member
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 875
John,
You are not suppose to say which supermarket chain...
and yeah. Next thing you know you are gonna figure out
that Commerce bank was sold due to Husband and wife
improprieties with the building and designing fund money.
As tey say around here, wadayawan is joisy.
Per
You are not suppose to say which supermarket chain...
and yeah. Next thing you know you are gonna figure out
that Commerce bank was sold due to Husband and wife
improprieties with the building and designing fund money.
As tey say around here, wadayawan is joisy.
Per
I especially love to pull "setup" type pranks. I've been known to take several days, or even weeks dangling the hook until it gets grabbed, "hook, line and sinker"
I had a friend and competitor (another mason contractor) who i hired to do all of my concrete floors and once in a while he did a foundation or chimney for me when I was overloaded (with work that is 8))
One time, we found out we were bidding against each other on an unusual style of chimney. It was to be three sided with all three sides fully exposed from both floors of a two story house with a steep pitched, fully exposed cathedral type exposed beams ceiling. The real tricky part was that all three sides were concave from top to bottom.
When he found out i was also bidding, joe asked how i was going to keep the bricks lined up perfectly.
"Oh I haven't even thought about that, Joe"
"Well, I'll tell you how to do it" volunteered my friend. "When you pour the floor (I was planning to do that one myself), you stick a pipe in the floor at just the radius of each face. Make them plumb and solidly anchored so they won't move. Then, when you do the brickwork, you tie a rope to your elbow and the other end to the pipe. That way, each brick will go in perfectly lined up..."
"OK, Joe. If I get the job, I'll try that. I really appreciate your help."
Fast forward
6 months or so later, I was working with Joe on one of his jobs and he asked me how I made out on that three sided chimney. "Oh I did fine. Job got finished. I added a few design ideas of my own. Customer is real happy and I got paid right away."
"How did you do the brick work and keep it lined up?"
"Piece of cake Joe," and I tried t change the subject.
Joe was not to be denied and just kept after me. You know, a master doesn't like t give away his secrets and I played it to the hilt. Finaly, when I figured Joe just could not take anymore stalling, I told him, "You know Joe, I tried you method with the rope around my elbow, but it was dusty and Every time I sneezed, I jerked my elbow and had to reset the brick.'
Joes eyes were getting big. "Yeah!!!? What happened then? and so on..."
Well, i finally got some softer clothes line rope.
Did That work better?
Well, i got the softer rope so i could tie it around my neck.
Around your neck? Did that work!!!???
Oh, much better. That way I had both hands free and I could kep the rope out of the way when i was setting the bricks.
By now, Joe was all eyes and could hardly wait for the next shoe to drop.
Yeah! Yeah! How did that work?
Well, you see (and at this point I was probably hitting the coffee jug for emphasis at the same time I trying to keep a straight face) I made sure the bricks were slightly moistened. I had a hose to spray them. That way, they didn't set too quickly.
Oh yeah. good idea. By now, he rally had the bait.
I could work pretty fast putting the bricks into place and it was easy to tap them into line for several minutes after placeing.
By now, Joe was panting to hear the rest.
Well, i would place one whole course at a time and then put the rope around my neck as I went back to the beginnng of the course.
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
I think he was about to have a stroke.
Once i had the rope around my neck, i just moved along the course and knocked the bricks into line with my forehead.
Really!!!???
Oh yes. And as I was knocking the row into line with my forehead, I was striking the (mortar) joint with my nose and brushing the second (mortar) joint down with my beard.
I think Joe wanted to kill me as he had been biting all the way. He would not have needed to try too hard as I was about to split with trying to stay serious thru the whole story.
Some of you might not be familiar with how masonry goes together, but for those of you who have been around construction, i probably do not need to explain that part about bumping, striking and brushing. For the rest, be it sufficient to say i could probably be a charter member of the liars club for putting that one over. :
;D
Tinker
PS The part about the telling and the biting IS TRUE
I had a friend and competitor (another mason contractor) who i hired to do all of my concrete floors and once in a while he did a foundation or chimney for me when I was overloaded (with work that is 8))
One time, we found out we were bidding against each other on an unusual style of chimney. It was to be three sided with all three sides fully exposed from both floors of a two story house with a steep pitched, fully exposed cathedral type exposed beams ceiling. The real tricky part was that all three sides were concave from top to bottom.
When he found out i was also bidding, joe asked how i was going to keep the bricks lined up perfectly.
"Oh I haven't even thought about that, Joe"
"Well, I'll tell you how to do it" volunteered my friend. "When you pour the floor (I was planning to do that one myself), you stick a pipe in the floor at just the radius of each face. Make them plumb and solidly anchored so they won't move. Then, when you do the brickwork, you tie a rope to your elbow and the other end to the pipe. That way, each brick will go in perfectly lined up..."
"OK, Joe. If I get the job, I'll try that. I really appreciate your help."
Fast forward
6 months or so later, I was working with Joe on one of his jobs and he asked me how I made out on that three sided chimney. "Oh I did fine. Job got finished. I added a few design ideas of my own. Customer is real happy and I got paid right away."
"How did you do the brick work and keep it lined up?"
"Piece of cake Joe," and I tried t change the subject.
Joe was not to be denied and just kept after me. You know, a master doesn't like t give away his secrets and I played it to the hilt. Finaly, when I figured Joe just could not take anymore stalling, I told him, "You know Joe, I tried you method with the rope around my elbow, but it was dusty and Every time I sneezed, I jerked my elbow and had to reset the brick.'
Joes eyes were getting big. "Yeah!!!? What happened then? and so on..."
Well, i finally got some softer clothes line rope.
Did That work better?
Well, i got the softer rope so i could tie it around my neck.
Around your neck? Did that work!!!???
Oh, much better. That way I had both hands free and I could kep the rope out of the way when i was setting the bricks.
By now, Joe was all eyes and could hardly wait for the next shoe to drop.
Yeah! Yeah! How did that work?
Well, you see (and at this point I was probably hitting the coffee jug for emphasis at the same time I trying to keep a straight face) I made sure the bricks were slightly moistened. I had a hose to spray them. That way, they didn't set too quickly.
Oh yeah. good idea. By now, he rally had the bait.
I could work pretty fast putting the bricks into place and it was easy to tap them into line for several minutes after placeing.
By now, Joe was panting to hear the rest.
Well, i would place one whole course at a time and then put the rope around my neck as I went back to the beginnng of the course.
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
I think he was about to have a stroke.
Once i had the rope around my neck, i just moved along the course and knocked the bricks into line with my forehead.
Really!!!???
Oh yes. And as I was knocking the row into line with my forehead, I was striking the (mortar) joint with my nose and brushing the second (mortar) joint down with my beard.
I think Joe wanted to kill me as he had been biting all the way. He would not have needed to try too hard as I was about to split with trying to stay serious thru the whole story.
Some of you might not be familiar with how masonry goes together, but for those of you who have been around construction, i probably do not need to explain that part about bumping, striking and brushing. For the rest, be it sufficient to say i could probably be a charter member of the liars club for putting that one over. :
;DTinker
PS The part about the telling and the biting IS TRUE
