Turns out I can't paint over QSWO. I broke it all down to paint it in pieces, since I would never be able to get between those shelves. After all of the sanding, breaking the edges on the through-tenons, and bottoms of the legs, I just couldn't do it. I went searching through the cabinets for gray stain as the best compromise i could come up with. I would have rather done the steel wool in vinegar, but just don't have the time. I have put this off too long already.
Initially, after drying, it was more gray, the finish hid that a little and brought out the brown of the wood more. That made it darker overall too, so probably a better fit for the painted parts.
I used water-based Polycrylic on both the stained and painted parts so even out the sheen, which is very low. I'm just not a fan of shiny wood, unless it's a musical instrument.
If she wants it to shine more, wax can do the job, after it dries some more. It just got the last coat this morning and delivers tomorrow.
It's a good thing that I got off of work early yesterday, since I had to strip the paint back off of the top at the last minute. I tried spraying it with some rattle-can clear and the paint crazed in several places.
I don't know why though, same brand and it dried for 18-20 hours first. It wasn't everywhere either, which is confusing. I repainted it and used the Polycrylic the next day (today)
The pics aren't the greatest, since they are at the shop. I'll get some better ones when it's in place, and the Maple one too.